about me

i am 33. i live in los angeles, a city i love, with my husband, mike. and i have brain cancer. prior to receiving a terminal diagnosis on april 9, 2016, i worked as a strategic fund-development and communications consultant for nonprofit organizations.

when i was diagnosed with a grade II-III oligodrendoglioma in october 2010, i decided almost immediately to start this blog. it seemed like the perfect vehicle via which to communicate with family and friends — and allow them to communicate back. once i completed my initial course of treatment and resumed my life, i took a break from blogging.

last month, upon learning i have just a few months to live, i began sharing updates with close family and friends via a CaringBridge website. now that my prognosis has been confirmed by a second medical institution, however, i feel ready to share the rest of my journey with all those who have followed me to date — including others who are on cancer journeys of their own — and with the friends, family members and caregivers of those with cancer. i also hope to reach people not in the cancer community who might draw strength, consolation or succor from my story.

and i want to hear your stories, too, so please visit often, leave your own thoughts and comments, and feel free to share this blog with others.

Recent Posts

status update 7/6/16

Lots of people have been asking how I’m doing since my Avastin infusion last week. I’m hanging in there. I don’t really feel any differently since the infusion but haven’t been sleeping well so have been pretty fatigued. Today is my last day on the 4mg dose of steroids. Hoping the reduction to 2mg tomorrow will make a big difference in my sleep and other side effects. The swelling and water weight I’m carrying around with me are getting really uncomfortable, another reason I’m very eager to start the process of tapering the steroids. 

Mike estimates based on his look at the MRI that my tumor grew by about third since my scan six weeks ago, so things are progressing fairly rapidly. My left-arm weakness is significantly worse. Typing and writing have become very difficult. Looks like Siri and I are going to become better friends. I am still working hard on keeping up my strength. I’m doing a series of exercises every day for my legs and back and have recently added arm and hand exercises under Mike’s guidance. I got a Fitbit a couple weeks ago as well, which is helping keep me motivated to move around the house and take my daily walks. I’m pretty sure I am actually getting more steps/activity than when I was working; and it’s a good challenge to find creative ways to stay off the couch. 

I’ve also begun preliminary work for an essay series I plan to develop addressing the patient and family experience within the modern American healthcare system. In the coming weeks, I plan to interview folks who have had cancer or another chronic/terminal illness about their experiences from diagnosis through end-of-life care. This project is the result of a series of conversations with my healthcare providers, Mike, my mom, friends, and others in this regard.

I’ve begun to read some of the literature/consume other media on this topic, including When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi, Being Mortal by Atul Gawunde and this fabulous TED talk by BJ Miller, senior director and advocate at Zen Hospice Project, in San Francisco. These physicians are contributing in tremendous ways to the conversation about how the healthcare system needs to and can be transformed to place the patient at the center. I feel that the voices of the patients and families themselves are, in large part, missing from the conversation taking place in the public sphere, however. I hope that through this series I can help shed additional light from this important perspective. 

If you or anyone you know has experienced cancer or another chronic or terminal illness — or is a family member of someone who passed away after receiving care within the healthcare system — please let me know if you would be interested in speaking with me for this project. 

Even as I embark on this project, we’re still trying to squeeze in as many adventures as possible. Our friends Ted and Sara are back from Europe and were in town over the past few days, including the holiday weekend. Huge thanks to Ted for driving me to my various doctor appointments last week. It was great to be able to spend that time together. We also had so much fun with the two of them and our friends Jeff and Ana listening to the sounds of one of our favorite bands, The Dustbowl Revival, at the beautiful Levitt Pavilion in Pasadena this weekend. And we enjoyed a spectacular view of the Rose Bowl fireworks from Ted’s parents’ house in Pasadena. #netjoy

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